'Flight Of The Conchords' man offers to manage Oasis

The Flight Of The Conchords manager has spoken exclusively to NME.COM, offering his services to some of indie’s biggest stars.

While the band are currently working on a new album and TV series, (the first season is out on DVD now) actor Rhys Darby, who plays their manager Murray Hewitt, has been keeping busy with a few projects.

“It’s kind of been a crazy rocket ride to Hollywood,” he explained from the set of film 'Yes Man'. “It was very daunting my first week here, on the set as all my scenes are with Jim Carey. It’s only really my second onscreen role after Conchords!”

In the meantime, then, we thought we would have a chat with Flight Of The Conchords' hapless manager Murray Hewitt, and got his advice for three of rock’s biggest management handfuls.

Here are "Murray's" pearls of music management wisdom:

Pete Doherty
“With Pete Doherty, first of all I’d set him down and tell him he’s going to have to tidy himself up. He’s going to have to get his haircut. He’s going to too many parties, I know the rock 'n' roll lifestyle will lead you to a lot of parties but he needs to stop. Also, have you ever thought of drinking water? What you want to do is have beer in your hand when people are looking at you, but you don’t need to drink it. The image is more important, get the look but then drink water. That’s what the Conchords do. You’re hanging out with the wrong people, Pete, some of these people, they’re trash. You won’t succeed with a lot of these types, try measuring yourself on The Beatles.”

Oasis
“They’ve modelled themselves on a nice respectable band The Beatles, they got that right, but I’m not sure about the name. What does it mean? Basically it’s a small pond of water in a dry desert. OK, it’s not too bad, but you could do better? You two guys have got to get on though. You keep arguing, it’s not good. From the experience I’ve had I don’t think brothers is going to work. I might have to split you up into two different bands to be fair. One can be Oasis and the other one can be Mirage - that’s another desert name.”

Amy Winehouse
“Oh my god! For a start it’s all in the surname. You want to change that. A lot of people hear that, they can tell she’s off the rails. Why not change it to Amy Music-fun? People will see that’s what you’re into, fun, but mainly music, not just staying at home and drinking wine! You need to something with your look. Eat more! What we should do is only have lunch meetings, we’ll have a good feed and then we’ll talk about the people you’re hanging out with. She knows that Pete Doherty guy? It’s the same advice again really: model yourself on a nice pop band! Perhaps Amy could try The Kinks this time, and for heaven’s sake do something with your hair! It’s ridiculous.”